Paul – Around Fifteen Percent

Easy Like Sunday Morning

I wanted to have a relatively chill Sunday and thought I could do a quick post linking to something positive and helpful.

Turned out to be harder than I thought. Should maybe go searching in the week if I intend to do this again.

The problem is filtering through the bullsh!t, the posts that are just trying to milk money out of us and anything else I don’t really feel is appropriate to uncritically promote / link to.

I’ve settled on a slightly off topic YouTube video. It’s from a creator who goes by the name of PushingUpRoses and usually I watch her content because I find her dissection of Murder She Wrote episodes to be very entertaining. I don’t follow social media, so I don’t know if she’s talked about this topic before, but for me it came completely out of left field.

Like I said, not entirely on topic, but shows that with persistence and good will there is nothing we can’t overcome.

Check it out here and have a nice Sunday. Looks like another hot one (here in the UK, at least) so if you have the chance slap on some SPF and get out and enjoy.

A Word on Diet

Notice I said diet, not diets.

That’s because I’m not talking about a temporary change to what I eat, where I turn everything upside down for a relatively short period before going back to my old patterns.

That way madness lies. Its not a solution, it’s a cycle. Going round and round without end. Sisyphus anyone?

No. I need to permanently change my relationship with and habits around food.

Which is not to say it will be easy.

I’ve been trying to get this sorted for over a decade. I’ve tried low fat, low sugar, low carb, intermittent fasting, counting calories, counting points, plate clocks and probably some other things I’ve forgotten along the way. For each one, I’ve gone in knowing it wouldn’t be a quick-fix, short term solution. And, each one has worked… for a while. But, for each one, I have inevitably, for want of a better term, fallen off the wagon.

I think it’s obvious, I need to do something different. Or, at least try.

But, what am I fighting against. Well, I eat when I’m bored, when I start eating I find it very hard to stop, the lower my mood the more likely I am to choose sugary food and when I eat refined carbs (like sugar) I find it harder still to stop.

On the flip side, when I’m not eating (or bored) I find it really easy to fast and I don’t actually eat when I’m hungry. Or, rather, I usually eat in out of habit or a sense of duty, before I actually get hungy.

Hmm. Cue the research montage with uplifting music….

See, I know how to eat healthily and even like eating fruits and vegetables and cooking my own food. So, in an ideal world, I would just eat what I want, in reasonable moderation, when I was hungry, happy to stop when I was done. Simple. But, I was pretty much doing the opposite of that. I was worried I’d somehow managed to break my body’s hunger regulation mechanism. But, actually, it seems like it’s working perfectly – the fatter you are the more ‘fullness hormone’ the body produces – so it makes sense that I am infrequently hungry, especially if I’m still overeating. And, when I do occasionally eat at the point of hunger, my sensation of hunger does go away normally. Lastly, when I get locked into my pattern of overeating eating, it’s not because I don’t feel full, I feel compelled to eat regardless of how full I am.

It turns out my behaviour matches the diagnostic criteria for Binge Eating Disorder, or BED for short (#NotADoctor). It sounds like my instance is relatively mild comparatively speaking, but still, it’s a different tack to try.

My earlier research montage recommended a book called Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen and, seeing as I had spare Audible credits (#NotSponsered) I used one to download the audio and started working my way through.

I’m not finished yet, I will probably try to do a review when I am. For now, my plan is to use what I’m learning to combat my urges and create a new habit of eating when hungry and stoping when full.

So, far it’s going pretty well – although it’s only early days (nearly a week) and I only took my first measurements yesterday. But, it’s mostly working and I’m definitely not eating as much. Ultimately, it’s time that will tell – I managed each of the methods listed above and stuck to them for a week. I’ll keep you posted.

Biting the Bullet

I’ve been eating less, and better, for nearly a week now.

But, I haven’t been tracking anything.

Of course, “we never weigh ourselves at our heaviest”. I don’t remember who I heard say it, but it’s not mine. I’m borrowing it with this half arsed attribution.

Enough procrastination, today is the day. I already got on the scale and cracked out the tape measure before I sat down to type. I have ‘The Numbers’.

Except, first things first, these numbers are in no way definitive.

I ended up weighing myself three times – once because I forgot how my scales worked, once to do it “properly,” and once because the first two numbers were so far apart. And, each time, I got a different number. The second and third were only 0.1kg apart (less than a ¼ pound) so I’m using the second one, only because I’d already written it down. And I plan to buy some new batteries – just in case. But, the fact remains, something I did – slightly nudging the scale, shuffling my feet, I don’t know what – caused a 2kg (4½lbs) jump in my weight to manifest in the scale.

Right now, with no frame of reference, it doesn’t bother me. The secret estimates I hid inside my head were pretty close – so no major surprises or revelations. But, a month or two or three from now the perception of a 2kg rebound is going to be a psychological gut punch. It’s going to feel like I just wasted around a month and, probably, raise the question why even bother.

That’s why, as much as I have given myself a vaguely numeric target, I want to try and do this without becoming fixated on an endless parade of numbers. Our body weights can fluctuate in ways that have nothing to do with how much fat we are carrying and our scales conspire to change their minds based on the slightest variance. Beyond that, hopefully I will eventually get in the gym and, as a result, rebuild some lost muscle – a body recomposition that is a move in the desired direction, but won’t show on a scale.

But enough, time to commit the numbers I do have to the metaphorical paper of this blog:

Friday 16 July

Weight:   118.2kg  (260lbs)
Fat%:     038.0%
Fat Mass: 044.9kg  (099lbs)
To Lose:  026.8kg  (059lbs)

Some ‘interesting’ points to note:

My scale claims to measure body fat. Again, it gave two very different readings (around 5% change) but also, it gave a numbers either side of 60%. I know I’m fat – the 38% offered by the Navy Method is firmly in the obese category – but around 40% seems closer to ‘true’ than around 60%.
I used this site to calculate percentage of body fat using the Navy method. It was the first one I found that accepted decimal numbers, but also provided a lot of extra information.
Amongst that extra information the site offers an “ideal” body fat calculation (using the Jackson Pollard model, apparently). The number offered is a very reassuring 15.3%. As this agrees with my own assessment, obviously it seems right to me.

If I use these numbers for further calculation I must conclude I am looking at somewhere in the region of at least six months to get where I desire in a safe way (I assumed I could safely drop 1% per week, hoping to more accurately model non-linear fat loss).

Also, I had a quick look at estimates for daily calorie requirements. Again, depending on which calculation is used, there is a lot of variation in the numbers offered – from 2,750 at the top end to 2,300 at the lowest. First, from experience, I would think the lower estimate is probably about right for me. But, possibly more importantly, on the recommendation to cut 500cals a day to loose 1lbs of fat a week, that discrepancy could be the difference between loosing, sitting on a plateau or gaining.

I am trying to implement a “no counting” methodology to control my eating (more on that tomorrow), but, trying to follow the standard advice (to eat in a calorie deficit) relies on a compounding sequence of inaccurate measures and estimates that can easily leave anyone confused, frustrated, depressed and feeling like they’re banging their head against a brick wall. I’ll check in again next month – just to track approximate progress for the blog. And, I can see how having varification that “things are working” can help maintain positivity and motivation. But, I have to feel like putting an emphasis on scale weight is a recipe for madness.

By Any Other Name

So, what’s the deal with the name? What’s Around Fifteen Percent? Why fifteen? Why so inexact?

Well, Around Fifteen Percent is the amount of body fat I am aiming for.

That was easy.

The other two questions are gonna require a little more effort though…

Fifteen is a nice round number that is in the healthy range for men of my age. If I was a woman it would probably be somewhere in the twenty percent range. It also factors in my build – like I said, I’ve always been a chunky monkey. If I had a smaller frame or a leaner disposition I could see myself getting tempted to try for twelve or even ten percent.

But, I’m not a model or a bodybuilder. I’m not dialing it down for a photoshoot, or trying to sell my latest fitness program via a combination of YouTube and social media. I’m just a fat dude who’s fed up of being fat.

At fifteen percent, my top two abs might show … immediately after a workout … with good lighting … if I pose. But, more importantly, it shouldn’t have a negative effect on my sleep, libido or mood. And, it should be something I can maintain, not just for the summer, but all year every year.

I know, there are guys out there – influencers and social media celebrities – who walk around with their abs out and tops off year round at ten percent MAX. But, there are a number of realities that should be considered:

They’re about half my age. It’s not a hard and fast rule, there are exceptions and I’m using guesswork and rounding, but, they tend to be in their twenties while I’m in my Forties.
Aesthetic fitness is their life. These are people who have built their entire lives round how they look. They spend multiple hours 5+ days a week in the gym and most of the rest of the time concerned with eating and sleeping.
They’re using ‘questionable’ supplements. It’s a whole big debate and I’m not here to call anyone out – I’m not fussed what someone else sticks in their body (although I would prefer it if they were honest, specially if they’re role models or sales people) – but let’s not pretend it’s not even a thing.
We don’t see the full story. We’re fed edited videos and that one perfect picture to show us exactly what they want us to see. Maybe they are constantly angry off cam, blowing up at the slightest thing. Maybe, it’s always tired. Or, Hungry. Maybe, they regularly experience ED. Maybe, they’re fine right now, but will be f@cked five or ten years from now. The point is, we just don’t know and shouldn’t automatically buy in to the illusion of perfection being sold.

I’m not saying it’s impossible to walk around with a single digit body fat day in day out. Obviously it’s not. I’m saying that I’m not willing to accept the compromises necessary to make it a reality. I can’t turn back time. I want health and fitness to improve my life not be my life. I don’t want the risk or financial expense of that kind of supplement. And, I’m not deluding myself into thinking those lifestyle choices come without consequence. Thus, I settled on a very conservative and healthy fifteen.

(Side Note: I am aware I have been using a lot of male pro-nouns. This is representative of my experience. The pressure on women to conform to an idealised standard of beauty is noticeably and significantly worse, and, extends far beyond body shape. My expectation is that in general form and shape my observations regarding this type of media will remain valid regardless of gender. However, please feel free to share your experiences if there is more to add or something to correct.)

And around is because I don’t have an accurate way to measure my body fat percentage. I’m not convinced anybody really does.

When I finally start doing measurements I’ll probably use The Navy Method to estimate body fat because it’s quick and cheap and easy. But, it’s only estimated to be accurate to approximately 3-4%. That means a calculation of 15% could actually be anywhere between 11-19%.

If I save up to buy some calipers, that won’t improve things all that much and may actually decrease accuracy. According to Dr Vivian H. Heyward, author of “Advanced Fitness Assessment and Exercise Prescription,” caliper-test accuracy depends on test-administrator proficiency, caliper model and choice of estimation equation. And, a best case scenario would only offer a slight improvement to accuracy at plus or minus 3.5%.

Even if I decided to fork out my cash for a DEXA scan and found one in the UK that wasn’t too far away from me and specialised in body fat analysis rather than testing for osteoporosis, I’d still only be looking at improving the error rate to 1-2%.

With no way to be accurate, I can see no benefit to being hung up on a meaningless number. It’s relative value may have some use – if it changes from twenty-one to nineteen it is shows movement in the desired direction. But, that doesn’t mean I can say with absolute confidence and certainty “I am 19% body fat”.

I’ll most likely end up using, how I look in the mirror, how I feel and what size jeans I can fit into as benchmarks over and above any actual percentage I measure. But, that doesn’t quite trip off the tongue.

Moreover, choosing Around Fifteen Percent as a goal, conceptually solidifies my purpose. I’m not chasing abs. Or trying to look like X celebrity. I’m not going to turn my life upside down. It’s meant to be beneficial and sustainable not a sacrifice for hollow short term change.

Everything must have a beginning

I’ve always been a chunky monkey.

When I was a child they called it puppy fat. Then, when I was a teenager, I burnt through quite alot of it, what with all the growing and keeping fairly activity. But, still, I was never exactly thin. And then, I went to uni, where I managed to turn an awful lot of, mostly, beer into an awful lot of exclusively fat.

I went on to spend the remainder of my twenties wallowing in a depression fueled drug stupor that did nothing to improve my physical or mental health. And, as I approached my thirties I was probably in the worst state of my life – fat as f@ck, eating sh!t, smoking tobacco and weed on a daily basis, and barely performing any exercise.

Then an old friend, only a few months older than me and pursuing basically the same lifestyle, had a cardiac incident. I realised that, but for an accident of genetics, that could have been me, and, if I didn’t change something, it would remain a looming possibility.

It was the kick up the butt I needed. I started to exercise. I, eventually, completely stopped smoking. And, mostly, managed, to clean up my diet and lost a bunch of weight. It wasn’t quick or easy. In fact it was a constant series of struggles that took me a decade of many trials and mostly error. But, by around Forty, I was starting to get into the groove. Although, it still felt a struggle and I never really seemed like I was in control, constantly teetering on the precipice of regression.

Then, along came Covid, and kicked all our ar$e$. I couldn’t get in the gym and slowly but surely I did less and less while eating more and more. I lost all the momentum I had accumulated and, even when things opened back up again, I couldn’t get back into the swing of things – not for more than a day or three.

Now, I’m a Forty-One year old fat-f@cker who has somehow accumulated an abdominal intramuscular injury (or something like that, according to the physio I saw) that means I can barely walk more than 10 or 20 minutes without pain and who has had more than enough of being that way.

That’s only the introductory tip of a mammoth iceberg that lies ahead for me. Hopefully, taking the time to blog this journey will help focus my intent and keep me accountable. Maybe, it might be helpful to someone else, if anyone else reads it. Either way, all I have to loose is the weight.